With the long awaited and closely guarded secret extravaganza that is the
Olympic Opening Ceremony kicking off this evening, London is well and
truly awash with Olympic Fever. Wherever you look, there are official
Olympic sponsors, retailers and partners, not to mention up-cycled
Jubilee banners with the lovely addition of the 'Team GB' logo. One
by one, every town and borough in the UK has come out in full force
to witness the most unique of relay races.
Everyone from Captain Kirk to The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge has taken part in the spectacle, carrying and welcoming the torch - symbolising the heart of the Olympic Games - and it is safe to say the frenzy is set to continue. The capital has slowly become a hub for all things red, white, blue and remotely sporty, as tracksuit-clad Olympic Ambassadors pepper the 2mile radius of the Olympic Park and football kits become an acceptable fashion choice. With the Army chipping in
to bolster up security and missiles affixed to the rooftops, one cannot help but think that LOCOG and Boris Johnson have thought of absolutely everything.
Everything, except us Londoners. Before you dismiss my words as a strop of
Olympic proportions, consider this. The Olympics haven't even started
and in the last few days, I have witnessed epic transport delays and
failures, dangerously congested platforms, shopping mall and road
closures as well as a unfortunate young lady losing consciousness and
landing on me whilst being trapped together in a dangerously
overcrowded train carriage. At the best of times, public
transport can be enough to bring out our inner primal instincts. I
myself have been forced to go into beast mode once or twice in order
to swiftly and efficiently traverse the underground and all its
obstacles. But this is going to be the MOTHER of all cases of commute
rage.
What about the Get Ahead of The Games adverts that TFL have been
promoting?", I hear you ask. Advice like "Get off at a different
station to avoid the queues" and "Walking may be the quickest route
during the games" is not advice, it is patronising. Any half-wit could
figure that out for themselves, what we need is extra services laid
on for us, its all well and good usurping the motorway to section off
'games lanes' so that spectators can get to the volleyball on time,
but what about actual important things, like our livelihoods? With
all the disruptions, closures, delays and inevitable health &
safety 'incidents' involving tourists who aren't used to the
underground, travelling to work will be near enough impossible
starting from today. And no one seems to have spared a thought for
those of us who cannot simply take the speedboat half way in and
follow through with the helicopter to get to our desks by 9am.
It's fair enough that many employers are allowing some to work from home
but this seems to only be an option for those in managerial positions
whose only job is to delegate jobs to the rest of us; for the
majority, it is simply not practical. So, we are faced with a
gruelling two weeks (possibly more) of waking at the crack of dawn,
spending hours taking 'alternative' routes which everyone else will
also be taking to avoid the mind-numbingly slow tourists, only to
arrive at work so late that we are forced to make up the time after
hours and therefore give up on any hopes of catching a bit of the
games later on the telly. It almost makes you kind of wish it wasn't
happening here but somewhere far, far away.
I'm not anti-olympiad, I am deeply inspired by the efforts of those
who have trained their bodies to perfection and honed their sporting
talents to the extent that they can compete with the best in the
world in the hopes of winning Gold for their countries (and that
goes for the Paralympians more so than the ones at the forefront of
our minds); but it would be a very hard task to allow the pride and
joy of holding the Olympic Games in my home town to overshadow the
misery and suffering that the next two weeks will undoubtedly bring.
On the other hand, maybe if I had secured some tickets, I would feel
differently.
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